Discovering the world, one bite at a time!

Nought Bought, Caught Short

Was a long trek home from across the river to my lodgings last night. Part-way through the journey I was plodding through the park when I had to make a detour into the toilet block. My biggest fear was running into another homeless person asking for change, but that problem was nothing when I discovered that the toilet was locked.

This park, even though it is in the CBD, was very poorly lit so I thought I could be super discrete and become one with nature, camouflaged behind some thick foliage. I felt like it was only option (not ideal, I kmow). Nobody would ever know – I would be out of pickle (and ironically my pickle would be out only momentarily.)

Seconds later i could see the red and blue glow of police a car  behind me and could hear footsteps of a two officers approaching. The most important thing to do in this situation is zip up first and thankfully that’s what I did. In the headlights my silhouette would have looked eerily similar to a panda behind a couple of twigs of bamboo.

The boys in blue wanted to see my ID so I handed over my shiny new Driver’s Licence. Whilst I said a quick “sorry”, one looked at the other unable to work out where Queensland fits into the international landscape. The exchange went as follows:

Me: Sorry

Officer: Where are you headed?

Me: To the supermarket

Officer: That’s an awful photo, don’t do that again. Have a good night. (Hands back licence and the world keeps spinning).

The moral of the story – Portland police are quick on the scene and a bad photo can sometimes work wonders.


No photos of the previous incident so here is one I snapped on the way home tonight, the grand old Portland Theatre.

And here is one of Providence Park which is a couple of hundred metres away from where I am staying. It is home to the Portland Timbers, their soccer team that won the National Championship this year. Don’t be alarmed, unlike the pixture, nobody carries axes or chainsaws around town.

More to come tomorrow including my adventures from across the river.


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This blog started life as a series of emails with poor quality photography to family and friends whilst overseas to let them know I was still breathing.  It has since grown into it’s own little part of the internet.  A place where I ramble on about my love of travel and food.  Hopefully you find some enjoyment and inspiration out of it for future travel plans.  I have got a buzz from seeing it evolve into this flurry of pixels. 

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