Every September I am transfixed by the pointy end of the footy season, described by those in the medical profession as “footy fever”. Simultaneously I also get an acute dose of frustration due to the Carnival of Flowers in my hometown of Toowoomba. For those lucky enough to have no prior knowledge of this Carnival, it’s a underwhelming celebration of Flowers which has been disappointing tourists for well over seventy-five years. For the five weeks up until the King’s Birthday long weekend the population of city swells to a level that clogs footpaths, brings traffic to a standstill and turns everyday tasks into an ordeal. Others being one with nature is detrimental to my health during September.
About the same time decimal currency was messing with the heads of Australian shoppers, The Seekers had a hit song with, “The Carnival Is Over”. Whilst we have used similar titles our feelings are antithetical. Her lyrics constantly reference the ideas of longing and the anguish of missing something. They sung:
High above the dawn is waiting
And my tears are falling rain
For the carnival is over
We may never meet again
I’d opt for:
It’s taking ages to back out of my driveway
A SUV with NSW plates is causing me pain
When’s this damn carnival over?
Doubt my blood pressure will ever be the same
People often joke that Toowoomba drivers are some of the worst on Queensland roads, that’s until the interlopes into town over this period claim the mantle atop the dias for shoddy driving. Whether it be a right hand turn from the left lane across two lanes of moving traffic without indicating, or parking perpendicular to the gutter on a National Highway, you can see every law being broken on more than one occasion. Is it the smell of the Jasmine or the first sights of purple on the Jacaranda that turns these people into lunatics? Some bookworm at the University of South Queensland could devote a lifetime of reaseach and a Master’s degree to trying to get to the bottom of that aberration? It’s enough to nearly tip one over the edge. If I see another driver fiddling on their mobile, it will send me rogue, armed with nothing but an angry hedgetrimmer and a barrel of Round-Up.
Then there is the peer pressure to meet the high bar of garden grooming yourself. My nature strip is a heavy traffic area during this time and I got shamed into mowing it to ensure that small children don’t get lost in long grass. In much the same way great art asks many questions of the person taking it in, my lawn poses the quesiton, “How many different kinds of weeds can one front lawn showcase?” Sure I know my hydrangeas from my hibisucus but that skill alone isn’t going to see me make the local rag for scooping the Prize Gardener gong of 2025. Honestly most of my time was spent inside peering out the window as passers-by gave disapproving scowls to the aspargus vine which is presently taking over the front fence.
And while this rant is on a roll, $6 for a can of Coke? When I heard this I thought my friend had been licking poison ivy. Apparently that is the going rate at the Picnic Point Cafe. That makes the local drug dealers rethink their prices for the real stuff. Next year I am going to put my nieces and newphews to good use and setup a lemonade stand out the front of the house. A refreshing drink from some homegrown citrus would be perfect for the tourists as they amble past. I better start planting now as that has a couple of the hallmarks of a burgeoning side hustle!
Before you write this off as the gramatically incorrect grumblings of a misanthrope, there are a handful of great things about the Carnival that offset the traffic diversions and problems caused by the descending mobs. Many of the excellent cafes and eateries get much deserved exposure over this time. A few friends of mine decided to brave the chaos to enjoy meals at Ortem, the consistently excellent coffee at Banter amongst many other gems.
When I couldn’t secure my usual spot on the weekends I went a few doors up and got reacquainted with Jilly’s. My only note would have been the accompanying chips. They should be so crispy that the crunch reverberates down into the Lockyer Valley. The beetroot salad had me questioning whether I had to schedule a Doctor’s appointment to investigate possible internal bleeding – blood from every bodily function, until I realised that beetroot stains everything! A special mention to Nice Meh which opened a couple of weeks ago – the food is that good they would be well within their rights to ask me to pay rent given the amount of time I have frequented.
Of the parks the top three (in no particular order) would be the Queens Park, Laurel Bank Park and the Japanese Gardens. Queens Parks is the largest in town and gets all the attenion but for me the other two are even better. A trip to the Japanese Gardens last weekeend after everybody had shot through had me face to face with a bush turkey, magpies, ducks, ibis and enough bamboo to give a panda indigestion.
The magpies took time out of their busy schedule of dive bombing parkgoers to busk for food. All I had to offer was a melting banana and melon Slurpee. Judging by their reaction they were trying to cut down on sugar prior to summer. Their loss.
Laurel Bank Park is the one that dominates the algorithms at this time of year. Even this curmudgeon gives it two green thumbs up! But don’t be too scared by the locals, they won’t hurt you as some will have their hands full…
So if you succumb to a bout of hayfever this time of year, best to join me on the couch and cheer at the TV screen. That’s assuming you can navigate through the congestion in my street. And if the throngs of people and pongy flowers aren’t your scene there is always the Gatton Potato Carnival.
Jilly’s Cafe – My visit last week made me promise I need to come more. Not the greatest coffee but the food more than made up for it.
Banter Coffee Kitchen – Cosy espresso bar that plays awesome tunes and the staff know their stuff
Ortem – Food and coffee is always great. Friendly staff and dog friendly if you are one of those weirdos that love bringing pets to cafes and spoiling everybody’s day
Nice Meh – Don’t let the name fool you. Just opened and a new favourite that is garnering a faithful following
