Bulimba is the kind of suburb you could put together a deposit on a property if you managed to jag the Division 1 in Powerball for three consecutive weeks. A quieter folks West End, the music and edginess replaced by an older population and their dogs of all varieties. The local by-laws stipulate you are required to buy a dog when you fork out for a house. Not any old mut, it must be some exotic breed whose price tag is similar to that of a European small car. Decisions, decisions – Fiat or a Whippet? A purebred Sloughi or a Lamborghini. The stress of living in Bulimba! Rumour has it that per capita they have the highest dog ownership percentage in all of the city.

Between the eye wateringly expensive real estate are a collection of quality bars and brewers. The beers at Revel were nice, especially the darker ones. The brown ale named “Brown Town” raised a few eyebrows when ordered. They also whip up a decent pizza somewhere from the kitchen. For some reason I didn’t take a picture so you will have to take me at my word. With a heap of seating both inside and out, it is the perfect little venue for a lazy Sunday of suds.

The surprise for me was a place aptly named Thai Legend. Serving out a building that was a house in a previous life it is strictly take-away only. This isn’t due to any COVID rules, simply there is nowhere to sit. Pick from the traditional favourites or get creative and make your own noodle dishes buy hand selecting your favourite combination of ingredients. Two lots of entrees and a main should see me through until I get back up the range? Duck spring rolls (x2), the previously unheard of Crystal Balls and Drunken Noodles with Chicken for main. Looking back on it I should have made better use of the fifteen minute wait. Could have went down to Woolies and bought a packet of dog treats so any attractive female pet owners would be forced to stop while I force feed their beloved Fido/Maxie/Layla.

Less than a hundred metres away is the large park that doubles as the suburb’s cricket ground on the weekend. Stumps were drawn on the day’s play so I found a patch of grass near Fine Leg and started unpacking my order and trying to avoid minor burns. The crystal balls that I ordered out of curiosity were an absolute hit. I was transfixed, gazing into the centre of these crystal balls trying to identify the ingredients before the first bite. You didn’t need a strange looking bandana and a pack of tarot cards to know that my immediate future was going to be delicious. Meat, spices and an unhealthy amount of sugar are fried up and covered with cooked tapioca pearl. After a session in the steamer they become translucent, the filling trapped in a skin which resembles a frosted window. Subsequent research suggests they are Sakoo Sai Moo, a northern Thai specialty which are wrapped in lettuce leaves and devoured. Mental note, try these again at the first available opportunity.

After such perfection the duck spring roll was a mere afterthought. By now a few of the families in the park were giving me strange looks and growing wary – never trust a weird looking man who is sitting in the corner of the park taking photos of his food. The Drunken Noodles name is because these are popular with those that are partial to an adult beverage or three and are often prepared after a big night where you use whatever is left in the fridge and pantry. Me, I just like any noodle dish that isn’t drowning in sauce. Ticks every box.

With the sun falling behind the real estate the unit complexes which overlook the park I dusted the grass and dirt off my pants and make my way to the bin, making a slight detour to the cricket pitch in the middle of the park. Here I grab a dirty chopstick and play extravagant forward defensive shots to an imaginary bowler. I don’t know what possessed me, I don’t like cricket. It was here that I made the decision that I have as much chance of being a cricket prodigy as being able to afford a place in Bulimba. Will have to be content with the occasional visit to Thai Legend. The quality of their food alone is enough to guarantee continued property growth in the long term. Need to scour YouTube to see how to make those Crystal Balls when I make my way home.